Let's Bust a Recap : Two Gentlemen of Verona

Two Gentlemen of Verona?? More like One Gentleman and One Scumbag of Verona. This is one of the Bard's earliest plays, and oh boy, what a doozy. 

We open on young Valentine gearing up to leave Verona to expand his horizons in Milan and trying to talk his best buddy Proteus into joining him. But Proteus doesn't want to leave his ladylove behind, not to mention he's a lame lazybones who can't be bothered to expand any horizons. 

So Valentine is all, "Hope your life is awesome. Peace out."

But then Proteus' dad is all, "You better get your good-for-nothing behind up and go see the world and quit embarrassing me, you massive disappointment." So then we have to listen to Proteus and his main squeeze Julia go on and on with much sighings and tears and swearing their love eternal to one another. Including exchanging rings and vows. 

Have you already guessed who the scumbag is and who the gentleman is? Hint: Proteus is the scumbag and I hate him. 

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. 

So Proteus follows Valentine literally the very next day accompanied by his servant Launce and Shakespeare's most famous dog Crab. 

(Let me just tell you that Launce and Crab provide a lot of comic relief throughout the play but since Crab's role is entirely non-speaking—what with him being a dog and all—and their bits not having much to do with the main plot: it's hard to translate here. Suffice it to say, we love Crab.)

Apparently within this twenty-four hour window, Valentine has gotten to Milan and fallen hopelessly in love with Silvia who is a total smokeshow but unfortunately promised by her father to sad sack Thurio. She obviously has zero interest in actually marrying Thurio, and she and Valentine have started making plans to run away together. 

In one day. Oh to be young and to feel love's keen sting. 

But then Proteus shows up and immediately falls for Silvia too. You know, the Proteus that just yesterday swore eternal love to Julia? Yeah. Same guy. He has like, a moment's pause over the fact that he's basically stabbing both Valentine, his best friend, and Julia, his eternal love, in the back, but no worries: he doesn't lose any sleep over it or anything.

Instead, he goes to Silvia's dad and spills the beans on Silvia's and Valentine's entire plan for elopement and gets his best friend banished from Milan. Classy. 

So Valentine is out wandering around in a forest (classic Shakespeare), and runs into a band of outlaws who decide to make him their leader because they're actually a bunch of standup guys and Valentine is the most upstanding of all standup guys there ever was. 

Back in Verona, Julia is wasting away missing Proteus and decides to dress up like a boy and go to Milan to be with him. Because can we have Shakespeare without any crossdressing? No we cannot. She gets there just in time to discover her eternal love serenading his love to fair Silvia who, by the way, has not given him the time of day. 

Silvia may be my favorite Shakespearean heroine of all time. Definitely in recent years. 

But does Julia give Proteus the what-for and leave that little git forever? Obviously not. The only course of action is to become his pageboy and torture herself. Naturally. 

Proteus gives Sebastian—the boy name Julia has chosen for herself—her own ring to take to Silvia, but Silvia does give him the what-for and tells him exactly what he can do with himself. 

Did I mention we love Silvia?

Silvia finally runs away into the forest to get away from her awful dad and sad sack Thurio but is immediately taken prisoner by the outlaws. As they're taking her back to Valentine, Proteus "rescues" her, and continues laying it on thick. Unbeknownst to Proteus though, Valentine is watching the whole thing. When Silvia still won't give it up to him, Proteus makes to rape her at which point Valentine steps in and is all, "You treacherous bastard, how dare you?!" But Proteus immediately pedals it back and is all, "I'm the most disgusting person to have ever lived." And Valentine is all, "Oh good, you get it too."

But then...forgives him and wishes him a good life? 

Like, Valentine, come on. 

And then Julia swoons and everyone realizes she's Julia and not some boy named Sebastian, and Proteus suddenly remembers that she's his one true love and they get back together. 

Oh Julia. Grow a spine, sis. 

Then Silvia's dad and Thurio show up. Thurio claims Silvia for his wife, but Valentine is all, "Try me. I will end you where you stand." 

I'm sorry, where was this attitude when Proteus was literally about to rape her?? But I digress.

Thurio immediately backs off because hellooo: sad sack.

Silvia's dad finally realizes what a loser Thurio is and how great Valentine is and consents to Silvia's marriage to Valentine. He also un-banishes all the outlaws. And they all live happily ever after. Except I guess for Thurio. 

Like, what? I was really with Valentine until he didn't immediately castrate Proteus when Proteus tried to force himself on Silvia. And Julia, really?

But that's Shakespeare for ya. At least we got Crab. And one heroine who actually ends up with a good guy if we overlook his easy forgiveness of the most reprehensible human ever. I mean, no one's perfect. 

Next up on my mission to read Shakespeare's complete works: Coriolanus in August. Maybe I'll get a recap up before four whole months go by. No promises. 

Let's Bust a Recap : Romeo and Juliet

"For never was a story of more woe

Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

Shakespeare two weeks in a row?! Yes indeedy, we are getting caught up around here. As I mentioned back in February when I finally recapped The Tempest, I totally skipped blogging the Bard last year and do I really even need to recap Romeo and Juliet anyway? 

This won't be a full-on recap like most of my Shakespeare posts. Romeo and Juliet is undoubtedly old Shakie's most famous play of all time and if you don't know the most basic plot, then I cry for the education system. 

Montagues and Capulets, feuding families, star-cross'd lovers, suicide, reconciliation. 

I first read this play in Ms. Sterling's freshman English honors course in high school which means I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed fourteen year old. Older than Juliet, I might point out. 

She assigned parts and as a class we read the entire play out loud and discussed it ad nauseam. I loved that class. I think every high schooler should read Romeo and Juliet. 

When I set out to read everything Shakespeare ever wrote, I decided I would definitely re-read Romeo and Juliet and Julius Caesar in the course of my endeavor and 2023 ended up being the year I revisited R&J. 

Like I said, I won't rewrite the entire play, but if you're one of the ones I'm crying for: Romeo Montague falls in love Juliet Capulet...but their families hate each other. They secretly get married, but through a series of unfortunate events, end up killing themselves, at which point their families realize the devastation of their petty feud and reconcile. 

A few things I want to harp on after re-reading the play last year: Romeo is hardcore in l-o-v-e with fair Rosaline and is bemoaning his unrequited condition literally two seconds before he sees Juliet and falls head over heels for her instead.

What a catch.

Juliet, as previously mentioned, is THIRTEEN. Like, I get that this is some 16th century nonsense, but bruh. Sis has barely hit puberty. I can't with this. Like, is this even a tragic "love story" or is this just a tragic case of total parental neglect?? I'm just saying is all.

What I really want to talk about is the fever dream of a film adaptation I watched a few weeks ago starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes that hit our theaters hot back in 1996. I thought for sure I had seen this movie in high school shortly after reading the play, but upon revisiting it I'm not so sure. I think I would have remembered it, but maybe I completely blocked it because wow. 

Wow, wow, wow.

It seems to me that this is the definitive film adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, at least of my generation, and I kid you not that the vibe was exactly the stuff of my real-life nightmares. This is an award-winning film, y'all. It's like some 90s, south Miami, gang crap—but all in the original Shakespearean English—and the only thing going for it was the incredibly believable chemistry between the absolutely adorable Claire and Leo. I guess I should have expected nothing less from something that was directed, produced, and co-written by Baz Luhrmann but it's going to take me a while to get over it. 

This is really all I have to say about Romeo and Juliet. In point of fact, you need to read it for yourself, or better yet, see it on stage. Despite my poking fun at it, it's a true masterpiece. 

Let's Bust a Recap : The Merchant of Venice

Look at me, coming through on my promise and posting my recap of The Merchant of Venice just three weeks after my recent recap of The Tempest. Are we proud of me? Are we? 

But all joking aside, The Merchant of Venice is a doozy and even though I don't usually do this, we're going to talk about some pretty problematic elements of the play before we get into it. I'm not the most politically correct person living my life out here, but even I was a bit uncomfortable reading about poor Shylock and did I Google "was Shakespeare an anti-Semite?" upon completing my reading of this play? Yes. Yes I did. 

Debate still exists to this day on whether or not The Merchant of Venice is, at its core, anti-Semitic, but after reading it for myself, I'm coming down hard on the side of: it DEFINITELY is. Forcing Shylock to convert to Christianity was the final nail in the coffin. If that hadn't been his unfortunate end, I might not feel so strongly about it, but yikes. This play is not a good look for Shakespeare no matter how we try to spin it. It shouldn't even have to be said but let me just go on record right now and say anti-Semitism is awful and has led to horrible crimes against humanity. I will not tolerate it and would appreciate you keeping that in mind as you read the rest of this post. 

Are we clear? Do you feel me? The unfortunate nature of Shylock's character aside, I enjoyed The Merchant of Venice and I'm ready to get into it. 

The play opens on sad sack Antonio (our titular merchant of Venice) moaning about how depressed he is for no good reason to two of his buddies who are trying to cheer him up but are finally just like, "Peace out, bro, you're a total drag." Right as they're leaving, Bassanio arrives to hit up Antonio for some cash because he's broke as a joke and needs some capital to go woo Portia, this total hottie that he's completely in love with. And Antonio is all, "Of course, my guy. I don't have the cash, but I'll figure it out and set you up, no problem." 

Meanwhile on Portia's estate, she and her maid Nerissa are busy roasting all the suitors who have recently come trying to wife Portia up. As it turns out, Portia's dead dad left a twisted little caveat in his will requiring any marriage prospects she has to choose one of three caskets he left behind, and if they manage to choose the one with Portia's picture inside, they can marry her. 

Because that seems reasonable. 

But the crazy apparently doesn't fall far from the tree because Portia has one-upped her dad by also requiring any aspiring suitor to promise never to marry at all if they don't get to marry her. So right off the bat, we know Portia likes to play mind games. Like, sis is not a catch. Why are all these guys losing their minds over her?

Back in Venice, Bassanio and Antonio are making a deal with the Jewish moneylender Shylock to get a loan that Antonio will repay once his ships come in. Shylock hates Antonio because Antonio is basically a horrible human being, but agrees to loan the money to Bassanio on the condition that if Antonio can't pay up on time, Shylock can take a pound of his flesh instead. (His heart, guys, he totally wants to carve Antonio's heart out of his chest and watch him die. Kindof psycho, but okay.) Bassanio feels some kind of way about this, but Antonio assures him it's all good so Bassanio skips off with the cash to go court Portia. 

So that's Act I. 

In Act II there is a lot going on and Shakespeare is setting a lot of stuff up so try to stick with me here. 

First of all, the Prince of Morocco has shown up seeking Portia's hand in marriage so she takes him to the three caskets—one gold, one silver, one lead—and he picks the gold one, but inside is a skull and a note that says "All that glisters is not gold." Bummer, dude. 

We also have a scene with Shylock's servant Launcelot who gives a whole speech about how awful Shylock is and how he wants to run away from him. We get it, Shakespeare, Shylock is your villain. (But is he, though?)

We also meet Shylock's daughter Jessica in Act II, and she piles on even more with how she's ashamed to be her father's daughter and how she hopes her beloved Lorenzo will keep his promise to marry her so she can become a Christian instead of being stuck as a filthy Jew. (Like, wow. Okay already.) She commissions Launcelot to take a letter to Lorenzo secretly detailing a plan of how they can run away together. 

So, it gets a little muddy through this part with all the details of a masque that's happening that night, but basically Lorenzo gets the letter and then goes and gets Jessica who is dressed as a boy—shocker. Can we even have a Shakespearean comedy that doesn't involve cross-dressing? She's embarrassed about how she looks, but Lorenzo is all, "No baby, you're still hot to me." Neither of them have any shame whatsoever about stealing a bunch of Shylock's gold and precious jewels though. Whatever.

Back at Portia's, the Prince of Belmont is next in line to play "Pick the Casket" and he chooses the silver one. Inside is a mirror. You're out, my guy. (I should add at this point that each coffin has a message on top and the silver one is basically "if you open this you get what you deserve" which makes the mirror thing pretty funny actually.)

So that's pretty much all the important stuff for Act II. Oh, except for the fact that when Shylock discovers his daughter has run off with Lorenzo, he's more concerned about the gold she took than the fact that she ran off. More stereotypical profiling, blah blah.

In Act III, we learn that all Antonio's ships are lost and he's not going to be able to pay back Shylock. His friends are with Shylock and ask him if he really plans to take a pound of flesh from Antonio. Shylock's like, "For sure." And they're like, "Yeah, but what good will it do you?" To which he responds, "I'll use it to bait fish." Stone cold, my man. Antonio's friends keep pressing him to which he gives an impassioned, and kind of beautiful, monologue about how he's human too and Antonio has always treated him like scum so why shouldn't he have his revenge. (This monologue is why the whole anti-Semitism debate exists. Is Shylock a sympathetic character or not??)

Back to Portia: Bassanio has shown up and is ready to play "Pick the Casket" but Portia is reluctant to let him because she actually likes him. He's all, "No, let's do this mother because putting it off is torture." She contemplates cheating, but finally decides against it and takes him to the caskets. He picks the lead one and everyone is happy that he gets to marry Portia. She gives him a ring and tells him never to lose it or it will ruin their marriage. Nerissa marries his buddy Gratiano and follows suit giving him a ring of her own. (Do you remember how we talked about Portia playing mind games? Remember this bit about the rings.) They're all partying hard when Lorenzo and Jessica show up with a letter telling them how Antonio is in jail and probably going to die because Shylock's ready to make good on their deal to take a pound of Antonio's flesh. Portia basically offers her entire fortune to her new husband Bassanio to go save Antonio's life. (And now we know why all these men were trying for her hand: sis is loaded.)

So Bassanio and Gratiano leave to try to rescue Antonio while Portia leaves her estate in the care of Lorenzo and Jessica telling them she's going to a monastery to pray for her husband. As if. Naturally, she has come up with a plan for her and Nerissa to dress up as men and go to the trial themselves. And then we have like a whole page of Portia bragging about what a hot guy she is. So there's that.

Meanwhile in Venice, Antonio is in prison and Shylock is vowing to cut his heart out. Everyone's like, "The duke will not stand for this!" But Shylock is all, "He better uphold the law or Venice will riot." I mean, Shylock is not wrong, you guys. He's psycho, but he's not wrong. 

There is also a completely random scene in Act III where Launcelot is teasing Jessica about how awful it is that she's a Jew and it'd be better if Shylock wasn't her dad to which she responds that then she'd be a bastard and have just as much reason to be ashamed of her mom. Like a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't type thing, and then Lorenzo walks in and informs Launcelot that he got some poor girl in Venice knocked up before he left. Which has nothing to do with anything, y'all. Like, sheesh. 

But moving on to Act IV. 

Now we're at court and every single person in the play is begging Shylock for mercy and he is like, "I will have my revenge." Bassanio has offered literally any amount of money to pay off Antonio's debt but Shylock is not having it. Antonio has given up all hope of living through this. And then a young doctor of the law (aka Portia) and his clerk (aka Nerissa) show up to judge the case. Portia then proceeds to also ask Shylock for mercy—he continues to adamantly refuse—and then she gives a speech about how the court cannot force Shylock to show mercy. They have to cut out Antonio's heart. 

Shylock is all, "Finally."

Then as he is literally pulling out his knife to carve out Antonio's heart, Portia pipes up with, "If you spill one drop of his blood, you are a dead man." 

What?! 

She points out that the bond states he can have a pound of flesh, but it said nothing about blood and if Shylock—a foreigner—sheds one drop of Antonio's blood—a native Venetian—then the law says the state can confiscate all his land and goods. 

Bruh.

So Shylock gives it up and says, "Fine, I'll take the money instead." To which Portia is all, "Nah, bro, you already publicly refused that offer." And, to add insult to injury, since they just proved that Shylock did all this as a plot against Antonio's life, the state can confiscate all his goods anyway. According to the law. 

Antonio then tells Shylock that if he promises to leave everything to his daughter Jessica when he dies and if he will convert to Christianity, then he can keep his stuff. To which the duke then adds, "Take the deal or die." 

So I mean, Shylock takes the deal. Woof.

But that's not all. Next, we have Antonio and Bassanio and Gratiano basically groveling at Portia and Nerissa's feet asking how can they ever repay them, and naturally, they ask for the rings from Bassanio and Gratiano. At first, Bassanio is like, "No, my wife made me promise to keep this ring forever." but then he gives it to Portia (in disguise as a man, remember?) anyway. 

So as Act V opens, we see Lorenzo and Jessica basically in the middle of a game no-I-love-YOU-more when everyone shows back up. Portia and Nerissa mess with their husbands heads for a while before finally revealing the whole story and then they all live happily ever after. Except for poor Shylock who has been done dirty once again by all these insane Italians. Even Antonio gets news that all his ships are actually safe so he's rich again. 

I mean.....yikes, yikes, yikes. If Shylock's ancestry had been left out of it and he was just your basic bad guy, this would have been a super-fun play, but as it is? I just can't. Shakespeare, my guy, what's up?

Have you ever seen or read The Merchant of Venice? What's your take? Do you think Shakespeare meant for Shylock to be a sympathetic, nuanced villain, or was Willy just a straight-up hater?

Let's Bust a Recap : The Comedy of Errors

Ah, The Comedy of Errors, one of Shakespeare's earliest known plays. This one is definitely the wackiest one I've read yet involving two sets of identical twins who were separated at birth. You can imagine the shenanigans to follow. Let's get straight to it.

We open on poor, unfortunate Ægeon, a merchant from Syracuse, who has come to Ephesus in search of his son. His timing isn't great because Ephesus and Syracuse are at odds and any Syracusian found in Ephesus is condemned to death. The Duke of Ephesus is bored though and wants to hear why any self-respecting Syracusian would dare show his face on Ephesian soil. So Ægeon tells him...

...Once upon a time, he was a happy newlywed with a gorgeous wife and infant twin sons. The same day his sons were born, some random poor woman with no job and no prospects also had twin sons which she happily sold to Ægeon so they could be his twin sons' slaves for life. Convenient, right? So this happy little family decides to go on a trip, but they run into a gnarly storm at sea at which point, Ægeon lashes himself to one of the ship's masts with one son and slave, and his wife lashes herself to the other ship's mast with the other son and slave. As you can imagine, the ship comes apart, everyone gets separated, and that's the last time Ægeon ever sees his wife and son and son's slave again. He did raise the other son (whom he has dubbed Antipholus) and his son's slave (whom he has dubbed Dromio) and when they grew up, they decided to go off in search of their lost twin brothers. After they didn't come back home for a while, Ægeon went off looking for them which has brought him to Ephesus because who cares about dying when his life has been such a graveyard of all his hopes and dreams anyway...

To which the Duke of Ephesus is like, "Sad story, bro. We're still going to kill you in the morning."

Meanwhile, on the streets of Ephesus, Antipholus and Dromio (of Syracuse) are figuring out their lodging situation for the night, making dinner plans, and lamenting the fact that their search for their long lost twin brothers has yielded a big fat nothing. Antipholus sends Dromio off to secure a hotel and is surprised when just minutes later Dromio shows back up saying Antipholus' wife is expecting him home for lunch so can he please come on already.

A wife? In Ephesus? Where he's never been before? Ridiculous. And what could this possibly have to do with his search for his identical twin brother? 

Probably nothing and Dromio is probably just making a bad joke so Antipholus soundly beats him.

Dromio (of Ephesus, because if all this isn't confusing enough, let's give both sets of twins the exact same names) goes back home and tells Adriana (Antipholus of Ephesus' wife) that her husband refuses to come home for lunch, and, on top of that, he says he doesn't even have a wife. Adriana, who has already had some sneaking suspicions about her husband's faithfulness, starts crying about the pitiful state of her marriage.

Back on the streets, Antipholus (of Syracuse) meets back up with Dromio (of Syracuse) who denies making any bad jokes about Antipholus having a wife so naturally, Antipholus starts beating him. But then Adriana shows up and begs them to come home for lunch and for the love of Greece, please don't leave her. Concluding that Ephesus is full of witches, Antipholus and Dromio go home with the strange woman. Still no thought that any of this might be connected to their search for their identical twin brothers.

Next, we meet Antipholus (of Ephesus) who is coming home to have lunch with his wife. But he's locked out of his own house because Adriana commanded Dromio (of Syracuse) to shut the gate and not let anyone in. He's about ready to break down the door but his friends convince him to go out to lunch with some other lady instead. (Which makes me think Adriana's hysterics over the state of her marriage probably aren't too far off the mark.)

Inside the house, Antipholus (of Syracuse) has discovered his wife's hot sister and is doing his best to woo her to which she's all, "That's sweet, but wouldn't it be, like, wrong for us to be together? What with you being married to my sister and all?!" Dromio (of Syracuse) has also discovered that he's the object of affection of a hideous kitchen-maid and starts in on the most outrageous bit of fat-shaming I've ever seen. He and Antipholus decide it's time to get the heck out of Ephesus away from all this witchcraft. 

 

Dromio (of Syracuse) runs off to arrange their travel plans, and Antipholus (of Syracuse) is stopped in the street by Angelo the goldsmith who is delivering a gold necklace that was commissioned by Antipholus (of Ephesus). Antipholus (of Syracuse) takes it and tries to pay Angelo, but Angelo, for reasons known only unto himself, is all, "Nah bro, I'll get it from you later." 

In the meantime, Antipholus (of Ephesus) has finished his lunch but is still pretty steamed about being locked out of his own house and sends Dromio (of Ephesus) off to get a rope that he can beat his wife with. Because apparently, physical abuse is the answer to everything for the Antipholuses...Antipholi? 

Then Angelo (the goldsmith) strolls up asking for his money for the gold necklace he just gave him. To which Antipholus (of Ephesus) is like, "Come off it, man, you haven't even shown me the necklace, much less given it to me." So Angelo has him arrested by the officer that I guess is just hanging out on retainer or something. 

Just as he's being led away, Dromio (of Syracuse) shows up, and Antipholus (of Ephesus) orders him to go to his wife and get some bail money. Dromio obeys (still without finding any of this odd), but delivers the money to the wrong Antipholus, of course. 

So just to catch you up, Antipholus and Dromio (of Syracuse) are currently together with a gold necklace they got for free, a bunch of bail money, and they're ready to leave Ephesus on the next ship they can get on because their identical twin brothers probably aren't here and all this confusion is obviously the result of witchcraft. Antipholus (of Ephesus) is under arrest waiting for his bail money, and Dromio (of Ephesus) is out buying a wife-beating rope. Are we all caught up?

Now a random lady walks up to Antipholus and Dromio (of Syracuse) when she sees Antipholus wearing the gold necklace and demands that he either give her back her ring or give her the necklace in place of the ring like he promised. Antipholus (of Syracuse) has, obviously, never seen this woman before and is all, "Peace out, you crazy witch." 

The lady then decides the only way she's going to get any satisfaction is to go to Adriana and tell her that her husband is certifiably insane. Seems like a logical course of action.

Dromio (of Ephesus) finally shows back up with the wife-beating rope, and Antipholus (of Ephesus) is, needless to say, a bit peeved that he didn't bring any bail money with him. But right at this moment, Adriana shows up with a conjurer named Pinch to cast the evil demons out of the insane Antipholus. Because let's not overreact or anything. 

The officer in charge is all, "This is my prisoner, guys." But Pinch is all, "Do you really want to keep this demon-possessed maniac in custody?" So the officer lets Pinch take him.

Minutes later, Antipholus and Dromio (of Syracuse) rush onto the scene with swords drawn and Adriana and her people run away because the only logical explanation is that Antipholus and Dromio (of Ephesus) somehow escaped from Pinch just a few minutes ago and came back to vent their demon-induced rage on everyone. 

Somehow, Adriana in the blink of an eye comes back with some ripped dudes to capture Antipholus and Dromio who see they're clearly in over their heads and take refuge in a nearby abbey at which the abbess fiercely protects them. 

At this point, the Duke is marching poor Ægeon through the streets to his execution and Adriana appeals to him to make the abbess give up Antipholus and Dromio (of Syracuse). But Antipholus and Dromio (of Ephesus) who actually have escaped come running up at that very moment and also appeal to the Duke for justice in this nutty situation. 

Ægeon is like, "Hey it's my son."

And Antipholus is like, "I've never seen you before in my life."

And then we have a gigantic, hilarious exchange of he-said-she-said to which everyone is agreeing and disagreeing right and left, and then the abbess finally comes out with the other Antipholus and Dromio and surprise! she's actually their long lost mother Æmelia, and ohhhhhhh, our identical twins live here: everything makes sense now. 

The Duke pardons Ægeon and they all go to dinner to celebrate their reunified family. Tra-la-la. 

Obviously, it's completely ridiculous that it never once occurs to Antipholus and Dromio (of Syracuse) that all this trouble could be explained by the fact that their identical twin brothers—who they're in Ephesus to find!—live there, but nonetheless, this wacky play was a rip-roaring good time. It's Shakespeare's shortest work and easily read in one sitting (in fact, I'd recommend reading it in one sitting so you're not totally lost each time you come back to it trying to remember which Antipholus and Dromio are in what crazy scenario). This is one I'd definitely recommend, but seeing a stage production of it would be even more fun.

Next up is Troilus and Cressida. Check back in around August or September for my recap of this year's tragedy, and as always, feel free to nominate your choices for my 2022 Shakespeare plays in the comments below. Click here to see which ones we've already covered.

Let's Bust a Recap : As You Like It

As You Like It. 

As it turns out: I didn't.

This one just wasn't my favorite. I don't know if this was because I crammed it right into the middle of the Harry Potter series (which I am currently reading for the first time in my life) or what, but As You Like It has taken its place at the very bottom of the list of Shakespearean comedies I've read so far. I just didn't think it was that funny. Especially when compared to Much Ado About Nothing or The Taming of the Shrew which are my two favorites to date. Let me see if I can hit the high points for you.

We open on young Orlando lamenting his regrettable position in life as Oliver's younger brother. You might be tempted to think like I did that this is the overdramatic whining of a spoiled, bratty kid, but then we actually meet Oliver and realize that Orlando's downplaying it. Oliver really does hate him and is plotting his death. 

Cut to Rosalind and Celia, fair cousins and BFFs having a conversation in which Celia is telling Rosalind she needs to buck up and be happy because who cares if her dad has been wrongfully banished by his brother as long as she's got Celia around to be her gal pal for life. 

Then Orlando shows up to fight Charles (a famous wrestler who is in league with Oliver to kill Orlando) and Celia and Rosalind and basically everyone around try to talk him out of it because he is for sure gonna die. But Orlando won't be swayed, and, as it turns out, he apparently has enough rage to kick Charles' butt at which point Rosalind falls madly in love with him. 

At this point, Duke Frederick (Celia's dad/Rosalind's uncle/the guy who banished his brother for no apparent reason) decides he's had enough of Rosalind hanging around and decides to banish her, too (also for no apparent reason). Celia would rather eat nails than be parted from her cousin/BFF so she and Rosalind concoct a plan to run away together assuming the fake identities of Ganymede (a homely guy played by Rosalind, because would this even be Shakespeare if we didn't throw some cross-dressing into the mix?) and Aliena (a peasant woman played by Celia). They run off into the forest of Arden and buy a cottage from a couple of shepherds. 

Meanwhile, Orlando has also run away into the forest of Arden because his brother Oliver is still trying to kill him.

And did I mention that the forest of Arden is where Rosalind's dad (the wrongfully banished Duke) has been hiding out ever since his brother double-crossed him?

So pretty much all our major players are milling around the forest of Arden.

Orlando is feeling all lovesick for Rosalind so he's carving their initials into every tree he comes across. And since this is a forest we're talking about, we can assume that's a lot of trees. He ends up running into Rosalind (disguised as Ganymede) and she somehow convinces him to pretend that she's Rosalind so she can cure him of his unfortunate ailment of love. (What?!) 

In the meantime, we see Touchstone (a clown) and William (some country boy) both falling in love with Audrey (a country wench—Shakespeare's words, not mine), Phebe (a shepherd girl) falling in love with Ganymede (aka Rosalind in disguise), and Silvius (a shepherd boy) falling in love with Phebe. This makes for a couple of awkward love triangles, as you can see.

Well, while Orlando is "acting out" his courtship with Rosalind with the young boy Ganymede (aka actually Rosalind in disguise), he ends up saving his brother Oliver's life from a hungry lion. So Oliver, of course, makes nice with his brother and takes Orlando's bloody handkerchief to Ganymede (aka Rosalind) along with the story of how Orlando saved his life and couldn't make it to Ganymede's house in time for their date because he was basically bleeding out on his cave floor. Rosalind swoons over this valiant demonstration of love while Oliver is standing there falling in love with Aliena (aka Celia) at first sight.

You know how in Hamlet EVERYONE DIES? Well, in As You Like It, EVERYONE GETS MARRIED.

Rosalind (disguised as Ganymede) meets back up with Orlando and Silvius and Phebe and gets Orlando to promise that he'll marry Rosalind if she'll show up and gets Phebe to promise that she'll marry Silvius if she ends up refusing Ganymede for some reason. They all agree to meet the next day.

So the next day, with Rosalind's dad in attendance, Rosalind shows up to marry Orlando. 

Phebe obviously isn't going to marry a girl, so she deigns to marry Silvius. 

Celia marries Oliver. 

Touchstone marries Audrey. 

And a messenger comes bearing the good news that Duke Ferdinand has decided to stop being a jerk (for no apparent reason) and gives his brother back all his land and title. 

And they all lived happily ever after the end.

Like I said, not my favorite. It didn't really flow for me like Shakespeare's plays usually do, and even though this little comedy contains some of Shakespeare's most famous lines ("All the world's a stage...") and, sure, there are some funny parts, I just didn't find myself loving it. So sue me.

What do you think of As You Like It? Is it your favorite Shakespearean comedy? Am I missing the greatness? Was it just a dumb idea to read this coming off of The Goblet of Fire? What Shakespearean comedy should I read next?

Let's Bust a Recap : Hamlet

To be, or not to be: that is the question. Time for a recap of Hamlet and fun fact: last year I read my Shakespearean comedy in February and my tragedy in August, and that's what I ended up doing again this year. Not planned. Ha! 

Anyway, if you're not familiar with the drill around here, generally my recaps do not give any major plot points away but when it comes to Shakespeare, I basically give the CliffsNotes version. So what I'm saying is SPOILERS. If you don't want to know how everything ends, scram.

And speaking of how it all ends: everybody dies. Literally. Everybody. But let's back up a little.

At the beginning of the play, we learn that Hamlet's father (the king of Denmark) has recently died and in very little time, his mother (the queen) married his uncle (the new king). Yuck. Hamlet is obviously reeling with all this and grieving his father's death.

Hamlet's BFF Horatio sees Hamlet's father's ghost and takes Hamlet to see him as well. When the ghost appears to Hamlet, they have a little heart-to-heart about how he really died. Hamlet's uncle murdered him and now he's counting on Hamlet to get vengeance. 

Well, Hamlet starts acting crazy and everyone thinks he's plumb lost his mind. The King and Queen commission Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to figure out what's wrong with him, but Hamlet sees through that charade and doesn't give anything up to those two goons. 

Before he goes all Inigo Montoya on his uncle, Hamlet decides to put on a little play for his mom and uncle to see if his ghost daddy is for real or from the Devil. He basically writes a play depicting what supposedly went down in real life (his uncle poisoning his brother the king and marrying the queen and becoming king himself) to see how his uncle will react.

His uncle is GUILTY. 

The Queen calls her son into her closet to ask what this is all about while the King monologues about how he's being eaten alive with the guilt and what is he going to do about Hamlet who is obviously on to him and blah blah blah. 

While Hamlet is closeted with his mother, he inadvertently kills Polonius who is eavesdropping on their conversation. (That's what you get for meddling, Polonius.) The King and Queen ultimately decide to send Hamlet away to England with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern "for his own good". The king, however, also sends a missive with R&G basically ordering Hamlet's execution. Hamlet's no dope though so he switches out the king's orders with a message of his own that the letter bearers should be executed. (The letter bearers are Rosencrantz and Guildenstern for anyone who's starting to get a little lost.) Hamlet doesn't even feel bad about it because R&G are totally #TeamKing instead of #TeamHamlet. 

In the meantime, Laertes has come back to avenge his father Polonius' death. He finds that his sister Ophelia (Hamlet's one true love) has gone insane which adds more fuel to his fire. He concocts a plot with the King to invite Hamlet to a friendly duel in which Laertes will poison his sword so that when he strikes Hamlet, Hamlet will definitely die. And the King will poison Hamlet's drink, just for good measure. 

We have a whole little scene with Hamlet, Horatio, and two grave-digging clowns in which Hamlet talks to a bunch of skulls. Whatever.

Then we have Ophelia's funeral. Did I mention Ophelia committed suicide? Laertes, in his grief-stricken state,  actually jumps in the grave with her at which point, Hamlet can't take it and jumps in too because the love of 40,000 brothers can't even come close to the love he had for Ophelia. Hamlet and Laertes go at each other, but the King pulls Laertes off Hamlet and is all, "Stick to the plan, bro." Everybody makes nice and goes their separate ways.

Next we have Osric coming to get Hamlet to participate in the duel with Laertes. The duel is presented to Hamlet as a friendly wager, no big deal. Hamlet goes to the duel (against his better judgment) and what do you think happens? 

The Queen accidentally drinks the poison meant for Hamlet and dies.

Laertes stabs Hamlet with his poison sword, but they scuffle, Hamlet ends up with the poison sword and stabs Laertes back. Laertes feels bad about the whole thing and confesses all to Hamlet with his dying breath. Laertes dies.

Hamlet uses the last of his strength to stab the King with the poison sword, the King dies.

Hamlet says a few last words to Horatio about how he'll be remembered and dies. 

To sum up:

Polonius dies.

Ophelia dies.

The Queen dies.

Laertes dies.

The King dies.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern die.

Hamlet dies.

Everybody dies. 

Oh and then Fortinbras shows up with his army, but that's a whole different story that was going on throughout the entire play and I just didn't really care about it that much.

Hamlet is the longest play I've read so far and the second tragedy. Of the two tragedies, I personally liked Macbeth better, but Hamlet was also very good. Even though everyone dies, Hamlet seemed lighter and more comical than Macbeth. 

Read it, it's Shakespeare. 

I'm leaning towards Othello for my 2018 tragedy, but I'm open to suggestions. What do you think? Have you read Hamlet? What's your favorite Shakespearean tragedy?

Let's Bust a Recap : The Taming of the Shrew

As you can see by the title of this post, I decided to go ahead and read The Taming of the Shrew before saying "Adios!" to February. I read this one faster than any of the three previous plays by Shakespeare I've read, and it was, by far, the most outrageous one yet.

As I did with Macbeth, I'm going to reveal the entire plot of the play, so if you are in the dark about this play and want to stay that way, this is your cue to leave.

In The Taming of the Shrew, we meet Baptista Minola and his two daughters, Bianca (the younger one that everyone's in love with) and Katharina (the older one who is the shrew in the title of the play). Baptista has decreed that no one gets Bianca until he can marry off Katharina. This poses a problem for all Bianca's adoring suitors, NOT because Katharina refuses to marry, but because no man alive is crazy enough to ask for Katharina's hand. Enter Petruchio. A man who is just as crazy as Katharina, looking for a wife with a rich father to offer a sizable dowry. He's easily talked into pursuing marriage with Katharina the shrew because he ain't scared and as long as she's easy on the eyes and comes with money, she's as good as the next broad. 

So off he goes to ask Baptista for Katharina's hand in marriage.

In the meantime, we've met Lucentio who has recently arrived in town, instantly fell in love with Bianca (without ever having talked to her, I might add), and has concocted a plan to spend time with her while we all wait for someone to marry Katharina. He has his servant Tranio pretend to be him so that he can pretend to be a tutor for Bianca. 

Back to Petruchio and Katharina. Baptista happily gives his shrewish daughter to Petruchio in marriage, and Petruchio's big plan to tame this crazy chick is to act crazier than her. He starves her, deprives her of sleep, and generally is the biggest nightmare you can imagine until she finally caves and becomes a docile, submissive little wife. Seriously. That's what happens.

So who ends up with Bianca? While Lucentio is pretending to be her tutor and wooing her, his man Tranio (disguised as Lucentio, remember) is vying for her hand in marriage and basically promises Baptista that between him and his father, Vincentio, he can make the best life for Bianca because he's the richest. Like pretty much, Baptista was holding a bidding war for Bianca. Not kidding. He conditionally agrees to give Bianca to Lucentio as long as his father, Vincentio shows up to validate everything that Lucentio has promised. 

Are you still with me? 

Tranio (still pretending to be Lucentio) hires a random old guy to pretend to be his father, Vincentio, and Baptista grants full permission for the wedding to take place. Tranio sends word to Lucentio that all's clear for the wedding at which point, the real Vincentio shows up. 

Right before Vincentio is about to beat Tranio to death for killing his son (the obvious conclusion when he sees him wearing Lucentio's clothes and lying to everyone), Lucentio and Bianca show up and make peace. Even though Baptista at first is all, "What the devil just happened?!"

So then everyone sits down to a feast together and Petruchio demonstrates just how well he tamed Katharina by making a bet with Lucentio and Hortensio (I know I didn't talk about Hortensio, but didn't you have enough to deal with keeping up with the rest of this story?) that if they all three called their wives, Katharina would be the quickest to obey. And he wins the bet. I'll be sharing Katharina's final words tomorrow in our Word for Wednesday so tune in to see just how completely Petruchio managed to tame the shrew.

My biggest beef with this play is that in the very beginning, a random lord is playing a prank on this drunk guy named Christopher Sly in which he (the lord) has convinced him (Chris Sly) that he's some hoity toity lord himself and The Taming of the Shrew is actually a play being presented to Christopher Sly. And we never find out what happens to him. The end of The Taming of the Shrew, which is actually a play within the play, is the end of the whole thing. What's the deal, Shakespeare??

Other than that, The Taming of the Shrew is outrageously hilarious, and I definitely recommend it. I definitely liked it better than A Midsummer-Night's Dream, but not quite so much as Much Ado About Nothing. Or maybe it's a tie with Much Ado About Nothing. They're both hysterical.

What do you think? Did you follow all that? Have you read The Taming of the Shrew? What is your favorite Shakespearean work?

Let's Bust a Recap : A Midsummer-Night's Dream

Ok, so a couple weeks ago, I read Shakespeare's A Midsummer-Night's Dream. Thanks to your recommendations last year when I recapped Much Ado About Nothing, I put A Midsummer-Night's Dream on this year's book list.  One of my readers said it was "very, very easy to follow and very humorous." And she was absolutely correct. (I mean, she is an English teacher so she knows whereof she speaks.)

In A Midsummer-Night's Dream, we are introduced to Hermia who is madly in love with Lysander who returns her love but is forbidden to marry her by her father Egeus who wants her to marry Demetrius who is also in love with Hermia but won't give the time of day to Helena who is desperately in love with him. (Did you follow all of that? It's like, totally high school drama, amiright?) Other principal characters include Theseus and Hippolyta (who are engaged), a bunch of laymen (who are preparing a play for the wedding festivities of the aforementioned Theseus and Hippolyta), and a magical world of fairies (who have their own little side drama going on but are most important in this story for how they interfere with the young lovers, in my opinion). 

At the beginning of the play, we find out about Hermia's predicament (her predicament being that she's in love with Lysander but her father wants her to marry Demetrius--in case you glossed over that complicated high school drama I ran through above and missed the actual predicament) and learn that she either needs to choose Demetrius in obedience to her father's wishes or die. Yes. I said or die. Apparently, the ancient Greeks knew a thing or two about keeping their children in line. She and Lysander concoct a plan to meet in the woods that night and run away together. They tell Helena about their plan, and Helena decides to tell Demetrius so that he'll love her for telling him (sister needs to find a little self-respect, I'm just sayin'). So when all four of these young lovers end up in an enchanted wood that night, the fairies wreak a little havoc with some love potion #9. 

As I mentioned above and as my reader-friend astutely pointed out, the play was easy to follow, and, all in all, it was very entertaining. It was probably a little bit easier to read than Much Ado About Nothing, but I have to admit, I personally liked Much Ado About Nothing better than I liked A Midsummer-Night's Dream. 

So there you have it. I will always recommend Shakespeare (I mean, according to pretty much anyone, he's the world's greatest writer) so I recommend A Midsummer-Night's Dream. I read it in 3 days. I put Macbeth on the list this year as well because I'd really like to read at least two of Shakespeare's plays each year (I definitely failed last year), and I think reading one comedy and one tragedy is probably a good way to go about it. 

Have you read any Shakespeare lately? Which Shakespeare play is your absolute favorite? What two plays should go on next year's book list? (Too forward thinking? Never.)

Let's Bust a Recap

Ok, so if you read my 2015 Book List, you may recall my statement that the first book I ended up reading this year was not on the list.  (Is anyone dying to know what book I read first yet?  Am I doing this whole suspense thing right?)  Today, let me just catch you up on what I've read since January 1st and do a little summarizing. 

The first book I read this year was *drumroll, please*......... Persuasion by Jane Austen! This was not a first-time read for me.  Jane Austen is quite possibly my favorite authoress of all time, and I've read all 7 of her complete novels.  You can bet your butt that you will be able to find at least one of Austen's novels on all my book lists for years to come.  (Unless I'm re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series that year.  I mean, if there was such a thing as death by too much literary goodness in a year, I don't want to push it.)  So why, after putting Sense & Sensibility on this year's list, did I pick up Persuasion and read it like I hadn't even made any reading goals for myself?  Well, the answer is simple really.  I got the movie.  And anyone with even a kernel of sense in her head knows that the book is always better.  This is a rule that I have yet to find any exceptions to.  And the truth is, I haven't read Persuasion in 4 or 5 years.  It's fantastic, but it's not my go-to Austen.  So I wanted the written word to be fresh in my mind before I watched the film.  I finished reading it January 12th. 

Let's summarize: our heroine in Persuasion is quiet, unselfish Anne Elliot, the middle of 3 daughters born to Sir Walter Elliot.  Her mother died when she was 14, and she, unlike her ridiculous and vain father and sisters, drew close to and was greatly influenced by her mother's close friend Lady Russell. About the time she was 19 years old, Anne met and fell irrevocably in love with Captain Frederick Wentworth, but being persuaded (get it?) by Lady Russell and her family (mainly Lady Russell), she chose prudently rather than passionately and regretted her decision for years to come. Our story opens 8 years after all this transpired and through a series of events, she and Captain Wentworth are thrown back into each other's company for the first time since she rejected his proposal.  **Spoiler Alert: they end up together, duh.**

Persuasion is a study in the merits and the defects of a resolute will.  Should Anne have tossed all advice and logic to the wind and run off with Wentworth?  Or was she wise to have heeded the advice of her elder? If you are a first-time Austen reader, I would not recommend beginning with Persuasion.  (Sorry, Jon!)  Although I love Jane Austen unconditionally and all her books suck me in every time, I would not want Persuasion to be my introduction to this hero of the literary world.  Anne's timidity and faint-heartedness can be a bit annoying and the wrap-up is somewhat hurried.  (Probably due to the fact that Persuasion was written in a race against Jane Austen's failing health in the last year of her life.)  If you are looking to ease yourself gently into the wonderful world of Austen, I would recommend Sense & Sensibility if you want a really well-developed, masterful novel, or Emma or Northanger Abbey if you want something shorter and hilarious.  (I guess you could start with Pride & Prejudice...it would just be so cliché of you.  I mean, there's a reason everyone loves it, but really?)  

As far as the movie is concerned, it was a pretty good adaptation of Persuasion.  I took issue with a few liberties they took at the end, but overall, it wasn't bad. (P.S.  I got the 1995 version starring Amanda Root and Ciaran Hinds.) 

Now, I realize this post is starting to get a bit lengthy, but let me give you a super-quick recap of the second publication I read this year: William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. It is one of my life goals to read all of Shakespeare's plays before I die.  To date, the only plays I have read in their entirety are Romeo & Juliet and Julius Caesar.  Both of which were required reading in high school.  (Let's not bring up how many years ago that was.) Much Ado About Nothing is a play centered around 4 principal characters: Claudio (a young lord of Florence), Benedick (a sworn bachelor), Hero (the virgin daughter of Leonato), and Beatrice (Hero's cousin who is disdainful of men and marriage).  The play was short and funny, full of intrigue, match-making, and teasing, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It took me a few days to read it because, let's get real, we don't talk like Shakespeare anymore, and, although the language is beautiful, it can be a little tough to wade through.  I would highly recommend this to anyone desirous of diving into the world of Shakespeare but unsure of where to begin. It was fun. I finished reading it January 16th.

What do you think?  Have you read Persuasion or Much Ado About Nothing?  Any other Austen die-hards out there?  Shakespeare fans, is there a better play to start with? Blow up my comment section.