Let's Bust a Recap : If You Want To Make God Laugh

Hello there! Today is the last day of July and I have managed to finish exactly zero books from my 2023 book list this month. I'm in the middle of five different ones, but last week I fell into a Robin Jones Gunn shaped hole and now I'm in the middle of my own personal Christy Miller marathon. 

But really, that's neither here nor there. Today I'll be talking about Bianca Marais' sophomore novel If You Want To Make God Laugh which I read last month. After reading Marais' 2017 debut Hum If You Don't Know the Words last year and thoroughly loving it, I immediately decided her 2019 follow-up would go on my 2023 book list. While Marais' second novel was just as compelling as her first, I ultimately found the content of If You Want To Make God Laugh much less palatable and wouldn't necessarily recommend it.

If You Want To Make God Laugh is set in the early 90s in the immediate wake of apartheid and during the rise of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in South Africa. We are introduced to three different women—Delilah, a 58 year old white, nun-turned-aid-worker; Delilah's sister Ruth, an alcoholic, potentially suicidal former exotic dancer; and Zodwa, a young black high school student dealing with an unwanted pregnancy resulting from rape—and the novel shifts between these three unique perspectives. 

Before you read any further, I'm about to delve into—what I would consider—spoilery territory so if that's a problem for you: beware. 

After getting news that the son she never got a chance to know has been shot and is in critical condition in Johannesburg, Delilah rushes to be at his side and ends up at her family's old farm. Her sister Ruth has also come up from Cape Town in an attempt to sell the farm because her personal resources are dwindling and she doesn't want to take anything from her third husband in the midst of their divorce. When Zodwa's newborn son is taken by her mother to the sisters and Ruth is determined to adopt him, Zodwa finds herself on a year-long journey to locate him after her mother dies before revealing to Zodwa where she took the baby. Zodwa then finds herself in the strange position of being hired as a maid in Delilah and Ruth's home, neither of the sisters aware that Zodwa is the child's mother. 

It's a lot. And while I think Marais did an excellent job of writing another compelling story that kept me turning the pages, this one had too many drawbacks for me to recommend it without any reservations or warnings. For one, the strong language in this novel was pervasive and off-putting. I'm not one to reject a book wholesale just because it has some salty language, but there is a tipping point for me and If You Want To Make God Laugh went past my tipping point. For another thing, the sexuality and sexual trauma of all three women was a lot for me to stomach. Delilah and Zodwa are both victims of rape, and Ruth is just a whole bag of problems (although she was probably my favorite of the three). Then, of course, there are all the implications surrounding HIV, child abandonment in South Africa, and adoption which are personally fraught topics for me. So yeah. Not a book I would just hand out to my friends, but one I am still glad I read. 

All in all, I would say Marais' writing is solid but after reading If You Want To Make God Laugh, I'm not committed to following her work. Her newest release is about a coven of modern-day witches which I have no desire to pick up. If she writes anything else set in a historical context in her homeland of South Africa, I'd consider reading it, but I won't be rushing to the nearest bookstore on the day it releases. 

TL;DR version: definitely read Hum If You Don't Know the Words, but maybe skip If You Want To Make God Laugh. 

Let's Bust a Recap : The Undoing of Saint Silvanus

About the time I was putting a hold on Beth Moore's new memoir All My Knotted-Up Life at the library, it came to my remembrance that she had a novel published back in 2016. I really wanted to read it back when it came out, but never managed to get my hands on a copy. And since I apparently do not give two flying rips about my own 2023 book list, I promptly checked it out from the library to read while I waited on the memoir to come available. 

This is the only novel that Beth Moore has had published, and it tells you something about me as a reader that—though I've done several of her Bible studies—the first book of hers I actually picked up to read is her one piece of fiction. This is a chunky, thick hardcover clocking in at nearly 500 pages, and I was hooked from beginning to end.

We open on some New Orleans cops finding a homeless drunk dead in the street. It eventually comes to light that the man is Rafe Fontaine and he was murdered. On the other side of the country in San Francisco, his daughter Jillian is contacted by her grandmother's assistant Adella and invited to come to New Orleans for the funeral at her grandmother's expense. Jillian hasn't seen or heard from her father or grandmother since she was a small child, but she decides to go, only to find out her grandmother hadn't invited her at all. This is all Adella Atwater's doing. Her grandmother lives in an old Methodist church (Saint Silvanus) that has been converted into a small apartment building (now called Saint Sans) where she manages her three quirky tenants. After her boyfriend's infidelity comes to light back in San Francisco, Jillian finds herself back in New Orleans living at Saint Sans indefinitely. Throughout the course of her father's murder investigation, Jillian has to navigate her fraught relationship with her grandmother and figure out who she is and who she wants to be. 

Another element to this novel were brief flashbacks to the 1920s when Saint Silvanus was being built. There's a dark history within those walls that we the readers slowly piece together throughout the novel. 

Now, there is quite the host of colorful characters and a lot of moving parts to keep up with in The Undoing of Saint Silvanus, but overall I think Moore was successful in weaving together a compelling, well-developed novel that kept me interested from beginning to end. If you're looking for a thrilling murder mystery, this book is for you. If you like your novels to have a little bit of everything—action, drama, romance—this book is for you. If you're looking for a beautiful story of grace and redemption, this book is for you. If you like your characters memorable and fully fleshed out, this book is for you. And if you appreciate a good, gravy-thick Southern setting and tone in your writing, this book is definitely for you. 

The drawbacks for me were minimal, but they were there. I never fully appreciated the significance of the flashbacks or why Moore chose to work them into the story. I found Jillian who is arguably the main character to be very unlikable for most of the novel, and her character's development toward the end seemed a bit sudden, maybe even forced. 

But mostly, I really enjoyed The Undoing of Saint Silvanus and would recommend it. I don't know if Beth Moore will ever find the time to write another novel, but if she does, I will be first in line to read it. 

What do you like in a good, long novel?

Let's Bust a Recap : All My Knotted-Up Life

I know, I know, I missed another month of blogging. Let's not make a federal case out of it. If there's one thing I've finally settled on in regards to this little corner of the internet it's that when it happens, it happens; and when it doesn't, it really doesn't. And that's just how it is. So let's jump in today with this brand spanking-new release from popular Christian women's teacher Beth Moore.

But where to even begin? I did my first Beth Moore Bible study when I was a fresh-faced 24 year old. I was engaged to Cody, and her study on the New Testament book of James had just come out. A lady at my church had been leading women's Bible studies for years, and Moore's studies were often in the rotation. Not only was this my first Bible study by Beth Moore, it was my first experience participating in an adult women's Bible study of any kind. I'm pretty sure I was the youngest one in the class by a good number of years, and to my dying day I'll be thankful for the way those women poured into my life. I may not have been the most faithful Bible study attendee, but those women sure were and they loved me like a daughter. Still do.  

I've also been to no less than five Living Proof Live events. Had my ticket for the event in Wilmington, NC in 2020, but we all know how that turned out. Those weekends singing praise to God with thousands of other women and hearing the Scriptures taught by Beth Moore are some of the most soul-filling times I've ever experienced. I've been encouraged by Beth Moore to memorize Scripture through her studies and through her online Siesta Scripture Memory Team which I participated in for three years.

All this to say, I'm familiar with Beth Moore and her ministry trajectory and was aware she was publishing a memoir. I'd added it to my amazon wishlist, but then I remembered: hey! I'm a library-user now! So I got on my library's waitlist for All My Knotted-Up Life. This is the first book I've requested from the library that I had to wait for, and it took three solid months before my turn came around in the holds line. I read it in about four days last week and took it right back to keep it moving along through the line. 

I feel like I'm taking forever to get to the point of this recap, but here's the problem: I have a hard time with memoirs. The more of them I read, the more I realize I'm a strict biography or autobiography girl. I like a neat timeline of events, and I like details. Any one of my close friends will tell you that they cannot get through a story with me without me stopping them to ask about a million and one questions so I can get the full picture. I've been like this my whole life long, so when I'm reading a book and I feel like I'm being given these sort of specific generalities: I get a little frustrated. 

But how do you critique someone's memoirs? Beth Moore is certainly not obligated to share any more of her story than she deems apt. Her memoir has been described as "intensely vulnerable", written with "surprising candor", and "deeply personal" but I don't think any of those descriptions are particularly fitting. Moore has always been fiercely protective of her family—rightfully so—and though she does address the childhood sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father, and sheds some insight into her husband's struggle with PTSD and bipolar disorder, that protectiveness permeates her memoir keeping things somewhat vague and not always detailing resolutions. Without a doubt she comes from the Get a Grip and Bite Your Lip to Save Face generation, and I understand that. 

However, every word was dripping with Moore's signature wit and warmth, and I felt a lot of love for her as I was reading All My Knotted-Up Life. You can tell that releasing it into the world was probably a real catharsis for her. Her life has certainly not been easy (is anyone's?) but her love for and deep commitment to God and her family really shine through in these pages. I've personally heard her at her conferences throughout the years very vaguely reference many of the difficulties her family has faced so it was eye-opening to read All My Knotted-Up Life and be able to connect a few more of those dots. 

Ultimately, reading All My Knotted-Up Life left me with some key takeaways that will stay with me.

One, I am deeply and profoundly grateful to God for the caring and protective men He has placed in my life, not only in my family but in my churches. My father, brothers, husband, and pastors have always protected me, esteemed me, and treated me with dignity and respect, and the fact that so many women have not had this life experience truly humbles me and grieves me. Thank God for godly men.

And two, God can and does use broken people to achieve His ends. I have personally benefited from the ministry of Beth Moore even during times when her personal life was apparently in shambles. We can serve God in the midst of our brokenness—because let's face it, we'll be operating from that brokenness until we meet Him on the Other Side—and He will hold us fast. Even when it feels impossible: He will hold us fast. 

As Beth Moore wrote in concluding her memoir: blest be the tie that binds. 

Also—and I just can't not include this—Beth and Keith Moore's given first names are Wanda and Ivan and if that doesn't tickle you a tiny bit, then you and I do not share the same sense of humor. Bless them.