Let's Bust a Recap : Cymbeline

Time for some more Shakespeare! And apparently I'm only blogging every other month this year. Seems par for the course with 2020. 

For the past five years or so, I've been reading a Shakespearean comedy in February and a tragedy in August. This year's pick for August was Cymbeline, and even though it is classified as a tragedy in the First Folio it's definitely not one and modern critics often classify it as a romance or even a comedy. I think it solidly lands in the "romance" category, and it was a pleasant change of pace to read a play where the people you hated actually died and the people you liked (or at least you didn't completely despise) finally got their happily ever after. 

We open to find two unnamed gentlemen setting the stage for us which is basically this: King Cymbeline's daughter Imogen has essentially flipped him the bird by marrying the love of her life (one Posthumus Leonatus—bless his heart—that the king raised and loved as a son, by the way) instead of acquiescing to the king's plans for her to marry Cloten (a total loser who happens to be the king's stepson). So naturally Cymbeline banishes Posthumus from Britain and tells his daughter she can go to H-E-double-hockeysticks for all he cares about her feelings. 

Oh and also Cymbeline has two sons who were kidnapped as small children because why not?

Once the two gentlemen have given us this little history of our main characters, the queen and Imogen and Posthumus enter and we realize Imogen is about to say her farewells to Posthumus. The queen is all, "I'm not your typical wicked stepmother; let's be pals" and Imogen is all, "I can't live without you; my dad's the worst for banishing you" and Posthumus is all, "I'll always be true; write me constantly and wear this bracelet forever." 

Posthumus takes himself off to Rome where he immediately makes himself obnoxious by bragging about his gorgeous, faithful bride to anyone who will listen. He catches the attention of one Iachimo who bets him 10,000 pieces of gold that he can bed Imogen no problem at which point Posthumus is like, "Go for it, bro."

Meanwhile back home in Britain, we find out that the queen actually is your typical wicked stepmother and is planning to kill Imogen to secure her son's right to the throne. She hits up the local doc to hook her up with some poison, but the doctor (and everyone else) can see right through her and sets her up with some brew that will for sure knock you out but definitely won't kill you and goes on about his business. The queen then passes along the potion to Pisanio (the loyal servant of Posthumus who has stayed in Britain to attend Imogen) hyping it as the best Tylenol ever and feeling pretty confident that both Pisanio and Imogen will take it and die.

By this time, Iachimo has shown up in Britain ready to get jiggy with Imogen and carrying a letter from Posthumus introducing him as this great guy. Just so, you know, Imogen has no suspicions about his intentions. He starts coming on to Imogen like it's his job (which, I mean, I guess it kindof is since he's got skin in the game), but Imogen is all, "Kick rocks, scumbag." Iachimo starts backpedaling faster than the speed of light and goes off monologuing about lucky Posthumus for bagging such a worthy chick and how amazing Imogen is for proving everything and more that Posthumus ever said about her. At which point, Imogen is like, "Cool, bro, you're alright" and Iachimo is like, "Would you mind safeguarding a trunk of my crap?" and Imogen's like, "What are friends for?" 

Um, what?! And that was all Act I.

Later that night, Imogen's asleep in her private chamber with Iachimo's trunk nearby for safety when out of the trunk comes Iachimo himself because he is not about to lose 10,000 pieces of gold over this dame. He leers over her like the major creep he is (noting a distinct mole in a place that only a lover should know about) and steals her precious bracelet right off her arm, then climbs back into the trunk for the rest of the night. 

Gross.

Outside Imogen's bedchamber, Cloten is pulling a John Cusack in Say Anything when the king and queen walk up. Cloten's complaining that Imogen isn't giving him the time of day and Cymbeline is like, "Give it time, son. You'll get her eventually." 

Seriously?? Worst. Dad. Ever.

Imogen finally deigns to come out of her room and Cloten is like, "I really, really love you so like, can we just get together already?" to which Imogen replies, "I actually hate you and you're not even good enough to lick Posthumus' shoes." 

Back in Rome, Iachimo has produced enough "evidence" to convince Posthumus that Imogen is not all that he thought she was, and he sends off a letter to Pisanio ordering him to kill that whore ASAP.

Seems harsh, man. But let's get back to Britain.

Out of nowhere, an ambassador from Rome named Caius Lucius shows up and is all, "Hey, you owe us your annual tribute" and Cymbeline is all, "You ain't gettin' a dime outta me" and Caius Lucius is like, "We will fight you" to which Cymbeline responds, "Bring it."

By this time, Pisanio has gotten the letter from Posthumus along with a letter he is to give to Imogen telling her that Posthumus wants her to come to him at Milford for a little lovers' getaway. 

Because why ask Imogen—the woman he loves, the woman he's known his entire life—for her side of the story? Instead, let's let her think everything is business as usual and make my servant do my dirty work. Seems logical. Real mature, Posthumus.

Pisanio and Imogen head off on their little trip, but halfway there, Pisanio is like, "We need to talk." He tells Imogen about the contents of his letter and that Posthumus is setting her up for her death. But Pisanio (the real MVP of this play) is not about to shed Imogen's perfectly innocent blood and instead concocts a plan for Imogen to disguise herself as a man and run away.

Because would this even be Shakespeare if there wasn't a little cross-dressing involved?

Pisanio heads back to Britain where Cymbeline, the queen, and Cloten are all in a dither because Imogen has run away. Cloten demands that Pisanio bring him some of Posthumus' old clothes because he's had enough of the cold shoulder; he's going to dress up like Posthumus, go find Imogen, and have his way with her whatever it takes. He doesn't really need Posthumus' clothes for this plan, but Cloten has a weird clothing fetish all throughout the play.

In the meantime, Imogen has been wandering around a forest, dressed like a boy, and stumbles into the cave where her two long-lost brothers have been living with their kidnapper (who they believe to be their father) their whole lives.

How convenient.

They all love each other immediately (even though none of them have the slightest idea who they are) and they decide the new guy needs some food pronto because he's looking ready to pass out from hunger. So Arviragus stays with Imogen (who's going by "Fidele"), and Guiderius goes out to hunt. 

While he's out hunting, he comes across Cloten wandering around the forest looking for Imogen. In typical Cloten fashion, he manages to insult this complete stranger to such a degree that Guiderius swiftly cuts off his head.

Belarius (the kidnapper) recognizes Cloten and is like, "We're all gonna die." But Guiderius is like, "Whatever, I'd do it again, that guy was a tool."

Back in the cave, Imogen decided to take the Tylenol that Pisanio gave her before they parted ways. (Remember, this was the potion that the queen got from the doctor that's supposed to be deadly, but isn't actually.) So upon the return of Guiderius and Belarius, Arviragus is carrying Imogen out thinking she's dead as a doornail. The three of them lay Imogen next to Cloten's headless body and sing a dirge in honor of Imogen (which is actually one of the most beautiful pieces I've read by Shakespeare) and then go off to fight for Britain in the mounting war against Rome. 

A little while later, Imogen wakes up and sees a headless body dressed in Posthumus' clothes lying next to her. Obviously, she gets a little upset. Caius Lucius and some other Romans ride up to this scene and she agrees to go along with them as their servant boy. (She's still dressed as a boy and going by the name Fidele.)

Then there's some fighting, and Posthumus ends up rescuing Cymbeline, and then Posthumus has a weird dream, and Britain ends up beating Rome, and everyone goes back to the king's palace so we can sort out this mess.

First of all, the doctor reports that the queen died in a mad fit and before dying she confessed to the doctor and her ladies in waiting that she only married the king so she could get her son the throne. To which Cymbeline basically says, "Well, she was hot so....WORTH IT." 

Iachimo (who is there with Caius Lucius and Imogen and some other Romans) suddenly grows a conscience and confesses his whole drama with Imogen and Posthumus at which point Posthumus is like, "You lied?! And I ordered the death of my wife because of you???" But then Imogen comes forward and is all, "No harm, no foul. I'm here. We're good."

And then Belarius steps up to the mic and is like, "I know you banished me, but look, here are your two sons that I kidnapped and raised and took care of, and I fought for you pretty valiantly in this skirmish with the Romans so let's all be friends." 

And then a soothsayer comes forward and spouts off a bunch of stuff, and Cymbeline decides that even though Britain beat Rome, he's had a change of heart and they'll pay the tribute after all.

And they all live happily ever after.

I mean, wow. If I could change anything: Iachimo would get what was coming to him, and Posthumus would at least have gotten a good combing down from Imogen, but all in all I loved it.

This play was definitely involved. While I was reading this, I couldn't help but get the feeling that Shakespeare just took all his favorite parts from all the plays he had ever written and kindof mashed them up into this one and said, "Here you go, world." Cymbeline is one of the last plays he wrote just a few years before he died. I really did enjoy it though, and I thought that everything was pretty important to the story whereas with some of Shakespeare's work, there are side stories happening that I don't really care about. Maybe not Shakespeare's greatest work of all time, but definitely one I'd still recommend for a good time. 

Have you read Cymbeline or seen it performed? As usual, feel free to nominate your favorites for next year's book list. I'm thinking Troilus and Cressida for my tragedy, but I'm not sure about my comedy yet. Merry Wives of Windsor? The Comedy of Errors? What would you recommend?